5 Stars for the “Silent-Scream” Stress Ball (Though My Coworkers Are Worried)
Let’s be honest: the modern open-office plan was designed by people who hate peace. Between Steve’s aggressive typing and the communal microwave that always smells like burnt popcorn, I was on the verge of a breakdown. Enter the Silent-Scream 3000.
The Tech
It looks like a standard foam ball, but inside is a high-tech acoustic vacuum. The pitch is simple: you hold the ball to your face, unleash a primal, soul-shattering shriek, and the ball’s internal speakers play back a gentle “whale song” to the rest of the room.
It looks like a standard foam ball, but inside is a high-tech acoustic vacuum. The pitch is simple: you hold the ball to your face, unleash a primal, soul-shattering shriek, and the ball’s internal speakers play back a gentle “whale song” to the rest of the room.
The Test Drive
On Tuesday, my computer did the “Blue Screen of Death” right before a deadline. Normally, I’d have to go sit in my car to yell. Instead, I grabbed the ball and let out a roar that would’ve made a lion blush.
On Tuesday, my computer did the “Blue Screen of Death” right before a deadline. Normally, I’d have to go sit in my car to yell. Instead, I grabbed the ball and let out a roar that would’ve made a lion blush.
To my coworkers, it just sounded like a distant humpback whale looking for a mate. Steve actually stopped typing and said, “Wow, does anyone else feel… peaceful?”
The Downsides
There is a slight lag. One time I squeezed it too hard and it “leaked” a tiny bit of high-pitched frustration before the whale sounds kicked in. Also, the ball is now vibrating slightly in a way that feels… emotional. I think I might be over-calibrating it.
There is a slight lag. One time I squeezed it too hard and it “leaked” a tiny bit of high-pitched frustration before the whale sounds kicked in. Also, the ball is now vibrating slightly in a way that feels… emotional. I think I might be over-calibrating it.
The Verdict
If you work in corporate America, you need this. It’s much cheaper than therapy and significantly more effective than “deep breathing.” Just don’t forget to charge it, or your 3:00 p.m. meltdown will be very, very audible.
If you work in corporate America, you need this. It’s much cheaper than therapy and significantly more effective than “deep breathing.” Just don’t forget to charge it, or your 3:00 p.m. meltdown will be very, very audible.
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